Hey everyone! This is Laurie. I am not nor have I ever been good at putting thoughts into words so if you will bare with me through this I would greatly appreciate it. My mind is all over the place with this adoption process. I feel like Erick and I are on two different levels. He is so outspoken about his excitement and joy over this adoption but me on the other not so much. Trust me I am SO excited as well but to be honest I'm nervous and scared to show the excitement. In the rest of this blog I will explain why I have been so reserved.
The story starts about 9-10 years ago when I was told by my MD that I needed a hysterectomy due to a medical condition. I was perfectly fine with this decision b/c hey I was 24 and had 3 beautiful, healthy girls that I loved and adored more than anything else on this earth. Everyone kept saying 'you are so young, what if you decide later that you want another kid?' Our response was, then we will adopt. Well Erick and I never really put any more thought into it after that. We lived our lives and would always joke about how awesome it would be that we would barely be in our 40's when the last one graduated from high school. We would have so much time to do whatever we wanted. Erick and I went through a really bad patch in our marriage and God saw fit to move our family to Tennessee. Out in the middle of nowhere Tennessee. We were excited for the fresh start and nervous as well. God truly began working on our family during this time. We started semi going to church and I say semi b/c we went on Sunday mornings but never got involved in the church. After 5 years we get a call that scared us...the company he worked for was selling out and we were going to have to move. We did not know where we were going to move to but really started trusting in our faith that God would take care of us. We were very close to moving to Michigan when Erick got a call that said they just had a spot come open in Louisville. We were so excited to be going back home. I'm not saying that things automatically started going smoothly but eventually everything worked out. Once back home we started attending a church that is currently our home church. We got involved and went on a couple of mission trips. As much as I love doing them I personally felt like I wasn't doing enough. Second year at home rolled around and our whole family went on a mission trip to Des Moines WA. It was such a blessing to be there with our whole family. Again as much as I learned with that trip I still had this feeling I wasn't doing enough. There is a song by Sidewalk Prophets called 'Help Me Find It' and I found myself using that song as a prayer. I could not finish this song/prayer without breaking down. I knew God had a plan for me I just needed to be still and have peace until that moment when God was ready to reveal it to me. There were 2 couples from church that within a few weeks of each other brought their children home to their forever homes. I found myself longing to be in their spot. One day out of the blue Erick speaks up and says 'Hey what if we adopt?' I thought wow that would be awesome but is that what God has planned for our family? After much discussion and prayer between the 2 of us at first and then our 3 girls later we decided that this is where God was leading us. Erick was jumping in with both feet. Me, I was a little more reserved. We put our application in and sat and waited for the approval or denial. Erick had faith that everything was going to be fine. I on the other hand did not want to get too excited b/c what if I'm reading God's signal wrong?? What if I get my hopes up that God is going to give me a son and I read the signs all wrong? That would be too much to handle. So I sat back and didn't really say much about it. I only agreed to tell our family's b/c their names were on the application and what if the application people needed to call them for something and then I really would have been in trouble with my family! Let me just say that once we put that application in, the feeling that I needed to do more was gone. I didn't feel like there was something else I should be searching for. I felt calm and at ease. Even though that feeling was gone I still doubted I was getting the signs right. Well as you know we were approved and have submitted our first set of paperwork and money. I know this is God's plan for our family. He has laid everything out for us. I know this is what God has called us to do and now I keep asking why did He choose me and my family? What did I do to deserve something this wonder? I am knocked breathless and humbled thinking that God has chosen us to care for another one of his blessings. He has blessed my family and I more than we ever deserve. We are not worthy of any of these things that He has given but we ARE so thankful that he has! I can not wait until the day that we get to bring our son to his forever home!!
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